i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
two words...techno handjob
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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