evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
