Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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