mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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