Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
