If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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