i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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