fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
