I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
