Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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