I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
