i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
