I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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