ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
