Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Actions speak louder than pants.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
