no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
how does that bad decision feel?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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