so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
