Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
