i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
