and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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