I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
