when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
