Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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