hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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