I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
