WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
