her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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