After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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