Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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