So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
