I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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