butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
