idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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