I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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