I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
