I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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