he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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