Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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