You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
