I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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