Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
