i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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