I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I puked a lego.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
