I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
