great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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