YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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