so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
