its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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