Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
