what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
