The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
