im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
